Ramen Recipe for Disaster
by DoodleMonstah
Summary: When Naruto hears about a rare plant called nemar which can be used to make 'legendary ramen', he immediately goes to find some and brings them to the Ichiraku ramen stand. But Naruto, being the clumsy guy he is, accidentally brings back some roots from the dreaded yppah plant, which are known to cause dizziness and hallucinations in large doses. Trust me, 19 bowls is a high dose.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do own the cover image! (not to brag, but I made it myself... Ok, never mind, I am tottaaaly bragging... well, just read the story...)

~~~•~~~

** - Chapter One -**

Naruto sat at Teuchi's Ichiraku ramen stand, shovelling in ramen at an inhuman pace.

"Old man, your ramen's always the best!", Naruto said between loud slurps of ramen.

"I thought I told you not to call me old man!"

"Eh heh- sorry!"

Naruto grinned and lifted the bowl to his face, slurping up the last of the ramen, while trying to think of a way to get a second bowl.

Now that he thought of it, Kakashi-sensei had promised him a bowl of ramen...

Teuchi surprised Naruto by refilling his bowl with ramen. "This bowl's on the house," he said while smiling. He was always glad to see Naruto in such high spirits, especially since he had seemed so down after coming out of the hospital.

"Alright!" Naruto gave the resteraunt keeper another of his trademark grins before noisily wolfing down his second bowl of ramen.

"You know, I'm sure you haven't heard of the legendary ramen..." He trailed off, stretching out the word legendary.

This immediately peaked Naruto's attention. "The Legendary ramen?"

The old man had a twinkle in his eye.

"Yep. It's a rumour among ramen chefs that if you collect the roots of the nemar plant, it will create a ramen broth so delicious, that it will trump all ramen dishes."

"EHH?! Old man, where can I find a nemar plant?!" Naruto urgently questioned.

He pointed beyond the cliff where the hokage's faces were carved. "Beyond that cliff there are a bunch of them. If you bring some to me, I'll be able to cook you the legendary ramen..."

Naruto's grin spread from ear to ear as he tipped the ramen up to his mouth and once again emptied the bowl, all the while slurping loudly.

"Alright, old man! I'm going to get some nemar, believe it!"

Naruto once again grinned at the old shop keeper before jumping to the rooftops in the direction of the stone hokage faces.

Teuchi started to clean the dishes as he smiled to himself, before being hit by a sudden realization.

"Hey, Naruto!" He yelled. "You forgot to pay for your ramen!"

~~~•~~~

A day later, Naruto excitedly carried a bag of roots to the ramen Ichiraku stand. Teuchi looked up, surprised that naruto was able to collect so many in such a short time. Nemar plants were, after all, rare and quite hard to find.

Plunking down the bag on he counter, Naruto asked, "Old man, is this enough?"

Teuchi inspected the bag, saying,"This is more than enough. I would be able to make about twenty bowls of legendary ramen with this."

"TWENTY BOWLS OF LEGENDARY RAMEN?!" Naruto could barely contain his excitement. Naruto started jumping the roof tops in the direction of his apartment as he shouted behind him, "I'll be right back, I need to get my favourite Ichiraku ramen chopsticks that I save for special occasions!"

Teuchi smiled at his enthusiasm as he began preparing the nemar roots for the ramen. He kept a special pair of chopsticks for special occasions? That would be something to tell his daughter when she came back from her expert noodle making classes.

He suddenly frowned, as he inspected some of the roots. Hmmm... Something about them seemed strange, and they were not as big as they were supposed to be...

Teuchi dismissed this idea, realizing that they were probably just smaller because they had been picked earlier than usual.

~~~•~~~

Alright! I'm going to eat some legendary ramen!" Naruto was holding his special occasion chopsticks in his hand, while racing back towards the ramen stand. A trail of drool came out of the corners of his mouth as he anticipated the delicious aroma of heavenly-

"HEY! Not so fast!"

Suddenly a pink haired kunoichi blocked his path to the yumm-a-liscious bowl of heaven.

"EHH? Sakura, what are you doing here?"

"I've been sent to get you to Tsunade, so come with me."

"What?! Whatever it is, I didn't do it!"

Sakura, using monstrous strength, brought down her fist on Naruto's head, causing Naruto to implant his face into the floor. "You idiot, she's giving us a mission!"

She cracked her knuckles as Naruto pried his face from the ground.

"But Sakura-chaaan, I need to go to the Ichiraku ramen stand so I can-"

Too late. Sakura was already dragging Naruto to the hokage's office while Naruto flailed his arms.

"But wait! I need my legendary ramen! I spent an entire day gathering nemar roots! Sakuraaa!"

~~~•~~~

In Tsunade's office, Tsunade looked at the group of ninja with stern authority.

"I have hand picked you all for this mission, considering each of your strengths and weaknesses, while considering how you would work together in a group"

"It looks to me like you just got us because all of the other ninja were busy," Shikamaru deadpanned.

Tsunade's face became red. "What? No! I picked you according to your skills!" She exclaimed.

"Darn it, they're on to me," she thought.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Everyone looked at Naruto, who had an idiotic grin in his face as he stared outside the window. Trails of drool trailed down his face where they gathered at the bottom of his chin, and then fell to the floor. "Ramen..." He murmured.

This time, fists from both Tsunade and Sakura came down on his head, causing him to indent his face into the floor and groan.

"Pay attention!" They both yelled, while cracking their knuckles.

Everyone in the room sweat-dropped, including the two hidden ANBU ninja that served as the hokage's bodyguards.

Naruto once again pried his face from the ground (in which this case was cold tile, not soft dirt) and rubbed his hand on the back of his head as he laughed nervously. "Heh heh... Ok granny Tsunade"

"I told you not to call me granny Tsunade!"

Naruto gulped as he sweat-dropped. An angry Tsunade was a scary Tsunade. He didn't want to pry his face out of the ground again, so he stood attentively and listened as she ran the group through the mission details.

"Shikamaru will be the captain of the group. He will be leading Team 7 and 8."

Sakura and Naruto both lamented over their recent loss of Sasuke. "Team seven... Sasuke..." Both of them looked down, shadows covering their faces.

"Hmm. I forgot that they were both so touchy about that," Tsunade thought.

"Anyways, Shikamaru will lead team seven, which consists of Naruto and Sakura, and team eight, which consists of Kiba, Shino, and Hinata"

Each of them nodded before she went on. "Your mission will be to retrieve a scroll containing top-secret information from the village of Sengon. Normally, this would be a C-rank mission, but due to the importance of the scroll, it has been raised to an A-rank status."

"An A-rank mission! Alright!" Naruto exclaimed loudly.

Hinata stole a look at Naruto before blushing and staring at her hands as she twiddled her fingers, thinking, "I get to be on a mission with Naruto-kun?"

Kiba did a mental face palm as he thought, "I have to be on a mission with that idiot?"

"All of you will meet at the front village gate in two hours. This is a three-day mission, so prepare accordingly"

~~~•~~~

Immediately after he had been released from Tsunade's office, he had raced to Teuchi's Ramen stand.

Naruto jumped onto a seat as he asked, "Old man, is it ready?"

Teuchi nodded as he answered, "It's about time you got here." He pushed a bowl over to Naruto and said, "One bowl of legendary Ramen"

Naruto held his special occasion chopsticks in his hand as he grinned and sampled the dish. The noodles were perfect, the fish cake was perfect, and the broth... It was so savoury and delicious that it was Iike eating a peace of heaven!

"Ahhh! Old man! This is so good!"

He shovelled down the ramen so fast that his hands were a blur. He brought the bowl up to his face and slurped the rest of the ramen out, grinning like crazy.

"Seconds!"

Teuchi dished out another bowl, which Naruto quickly devoured. In between conversation, it soon became a race to see if he could dish out bowls faster than Naruto could eat them. Third, fourth, fifth... Sixteenth, seventeenth, eighteenth... the nineteenth bowl!

Now there was only one bowl of legendary ramen left.

The old man had a solemn look on his face as he said, "This is the last bowl of legendary ramen in existence."

Naruto gulped at the suspense. This one he would eat slowly, he would savour each bite of the yum-a-liscious, awesome-mazing bowl of heavenly delight-

"NARUTOOO!"

Naruto looked up to see a pink-haired kunoichi.

An angry pink-haired kunoichi.

"Sakura? What are you doing here?"

"NARUTO! You didn't forget about our mission, did you? We've all been waiting for fifteen minutes already!"

"But Sakura! I was eating my legendary Ram- Augg!"

Sakura grabbed Naruto's collar and dragged him with her as she stomped towards the front gate.

"Hey! Sakura-chan, you're -Augghh! -choking me! Ah Sakura wait! I need my ramen! It's the last bowl! It's legendary! SAKURAAA! Wait! MY RAMENNN!"

~~~•~~~

Teuchi, seeing Naruto leave (rather unwillingly), looked at the last bowl of ramen. Naruto had said that he had a three-day mission... if he kept the ramen until then it would go bad. "No," Teuchi thought, "I'll just have to eat it myself"

He smiled as he sampled the ramen, but then widened his eyes in surprise. He definitely tasted nemar, but he tasted a different root too, one that came from the dreaded yppah plant.

The Yppah plant was known for looking very similar to the nemar plant, but if consumed in large doses was known to cause dizziness and hallucinations... And Naruto had just eaten nineteen bowls of ramen!

Teuchi sighed, contemplating on how Naruto, the orange ninja, never ceased to surprise him. He chuckled, knowing he had a good story to tell his daughter when she returned.

~~~•~~~

Sakura arrived at the front gate, still dragging Naruto in her iron grip.

"Ah, Sakuraaaa! That hurts!"

Finally, Sakura released Naruto, as he rubbed his neck where his collar had been choking him.

"Finally, you're here! If you had taken any longer, Akamaru would have peed himself," Kiba exclaimed, while pointing to the dog on his head.

"Yeah, let's go!" Naruto grinned as he walked with his eyes closed and his hands behind his head.

Hinata felt herself blushing.

"Umm, Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"You- you're walking the wrong way."

"WHAT?" Naruto looked around and scratched his head. "So where are we going anyways?"

Shikamaru sighed as he murmured 'troublesome' under his breath.

~~~•~~~

A/N And that's the first Chapter! I'm new to this so please rate and review and give tips if you have any :) Don't worry, Chapter 2 will be served soon...


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**- Chapter Two -**

The group if six jumped from tree to tree as they headed to Sengon. They were already halfway there, before Naruto started to feel dizzy and lightheaded. "Must of been all of that ramen before a mission ..." He murmured.

He quickly dispelled that thought as he grinned before jumping off again. There's no way he was going to let something stupid like this stop him! Because he was going to be hokage, believe it!

Well, those were his thoughts before the ground suddenly started flying towards his face.

For the third time that day, Naruto had to pry his face from the ground. Looking up, he saw everyone gathered around him, watching curiously.

"Umm... Naruto? Are-Are you okay?" Hinata stuttered, face turning red.

"I'm okay, I don't know about you, though. Your face is awfully red. Do you have a fever?"

Everyone in the group sweat-dropped while Hinata's face got so red it practically glowed.

"U-um, I"m f-fine, Naruto"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're ok, Naruto? Even for someone as clumsy as you, to just fall face down on the ground like that..."

"Ehh? Nah, I'm ok! I just had a bit too much ramen before coming here!" The blond scratched the back of his head and grinned.

Suddenly, Naruto pointed his finger at Sasuke, who stood a distance behind the others with his hands in his pockets. "SASUKE! What are you doing here? SASUKE! YOU TEME!"

Sasuke just laughed. "You dobe. No matter what, you can't bring me back to the village."

"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

Suddenly, five other Naruto's appeared. Pairs of Naruto teamed up to form three rasengons.

"SASUKE! WHY?! Why do you just throw away your bonds like that?! I'm going to bring you back to the village, enen if I have to BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY!"

Two of the clones dispersed in a cloud of smoke, while Naruto and his two clones flew towards Sasuke, each holding a swirling blue mass of chakra. Each of the rasengons exploded on impact, causing his last two clones to disperse, while flinging the real Naruto backwards.

As the smoke cleared, Naruto saw Sasuke standing in the middle of the crater, without a single scratch.

Sasuke started walking away, calling out 'Dobe' behind him.

Naruto pulled himself to his feet and pulled out a kunai, yelling, "GET BACK HERE, YOU BASTARD !"

He started to charge towards Sasuke with the kunai. But his body wouldn't move. Instead, it turned to look at Shikamaru, who stood confidently in his shadow manipulation stance.

"Shadow manipulation jutsu: complete."

~~~•~~~

Naruto stood tied to a tree, squirming and struggling to escape.

"What are you doing? Untie me! You're letting him escape! SASUKE! YOU BAKA!"

His team sweat dropped as they watched Naruto yell insults at a tree.

"Hinata, did you finish checking for genjutsu?" Shikamaru inquired.

"Y-yes. His chakra systems are completely normal, and I don't see any signs of a g-genjutsu."

Naruto desperately struggled to escape as he continued yelling at the tree. "SASUKE! HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY RAMEN?!"

The soft subject of Sasuke being brought up, as well as her short temper to all things Naruto, caused Sakura to stomp over to Naruto and, using her monstrous strength, punch the top of his head, yelling, "Shut up, you idiot! Sasuke isn't here!"

His team mates started to eat their travel portions as they contemplated their situation.

Sakura glanced at Naruto, who was making strange whimpering sounds as he stood unhappily untied to the tree. "Maybe I went a bit far," she thought. After all, it was fairly obvious that he wasn't acting like this on purpose.

"I think he finally lost it," Kiba remarked. Akamaru yipped in agreement from the top of Kiba's head.

Shino stepped out from the shadows and spoke, causing everyone to look up in surprise. He had been so quiet that they had almost forgotten he was with them. "Perhaps he was poisoned by an enemy?"

Shikamaru, who had been deep in thought, addressed Sakura. "Sakura, I know you have been learning medic-nin from Tsunade. Do you know how to look for poisons?"

Sakura, although knowing only a very limited amount of medical ninjutsu, nodded. She studied Naruto and tried to remember everything Tsunade taught her as she ran some quick tests on the whimpering blond.

"Sasuke stole my ramen..." He said dejectedly.

This caused Sakura to give a small smile. Ever since Sasuke had left, she had been depending more and more on Naruto, who was quickly becoming stronger and stronger. But no matter what, he was still Naruto. She worked quickly on the blond and was shocked at the results.

How is that even possible? He had such a huge amount of toxins in his body it was as if he had directly eaten a huge amount of yppah roots!

That idiot...

Yep. No matter what, he was still Naruto.

~~~•~~~

Sakura's eye twitched as she carried the number one knucklehead ninja on her back. He was delirious, and was constantly muttering something about a legendary ramen for the past ten minutes. For some reason, the task of carrying Naruto had been placed on her. Inner Sakura was furious.

Naruto wiggled inside of the ropes that tied him up. "My legendary ramen! I have to have it! The last bowl in existence!"

Sakura's eye twitched again.

Naruto continued to struggle inside of the ropes. "The ramen..."

Naruto stayed silent for awhile, before-

"WHAT?! Sakura, you're a GUY?! NOOOOOOOO! I always thought that-"

BOOM!

Sakura, in her moment of unbridled fury, had grabbed the ropes tied around Naruto, swung him over her head, and smashed him towards the ground, causing a dust cloud the rise from the impact.

She stood like a towering monster as she looked at Naruto with scary eyes. "NARUTO!"

It took all of the effort from her team mates to hold her back.

~~~•~~~

The group of ninja set up camp in a small clearing in the woods. Naruto was squirming in his ropes, mumbling about ramen and how he was going to be hokage some day, while the others ate their travelling portions.

"Do- Do you think we should untie him? He looks u-uncomfortable..." Hinata said, while glancing at Naruto.

Shikamaru lied on his back as he stared at the sky. "If we untie him, he'll probably end up hurting himself, getting lost, or alerting an enemy."

Kiba elbowed Hinata as he snickered. "Naruto..." He teased.

Hinata could feel herself turning bright red. "Augh! W-what?"

The other ninja just chuckled.

Naruto was grinning like an idiot. "Ohh! RAMENNN!"

Hinata glanced at Naruto again before looking down at her fingers as she touched them together. "H-He's probably hungry... He hasn't eaten anything yet..."

Walking over to Naruto, she looked into his pouch and pulled out one of his food rations.

"He-here, Naruto..." She put a bite sized piece in his mouth, which he began to chew.

Naruto had a strange grin on his face.

"Ya know, I don't know what I would do without you!"

Hinata was taken aback. Was he talking to her? Once again, her face started turning red. He seemed to be looking strait at her, but his eyes weren't focused and it was like he was looking somewhere else. Was he talking to her?

He grinned. "Even when I had no friends, you were there!"

Hinata could only look at Naruto in shock. Was he talking to her? She couldn't tell. To be honest, he looked really loopy. She felt her face grow increasingly red.

"When I see you, I want to eat you up..."

By now, the other four ninja were watching Hinata and Naruto with shocked looks on their faces. Sakura's jaw nearly scraped the floor. Even Shino looked a bit surprised.

Hinata's face was glowing red as she thought,"This is so sudden! Don't faint, don't faint, don't faint!"

With that, Hinata fainted before Naruto was able to finish the sentence.

"Because Ramen-chan, you are so delicious!" Naruto finished as he stared at a HUGE bowl of ramen (or so he thought). Drool dripped out of both sides of his mouth as he chewed something in his mouth.

The other ninja all fell backwards.

Naruto had been talking the whole time to... RAMEN?!

Ah, Naruto. The number one knucklehead ninja.

~~~•~~~

When Naruto woke up, it was pitch black outside. He had a major headache. He tried to get up, but found that he couldn't move. "What happened?" he mumbled.

He tried hard to remember, but all he could remember were giant bowls of legendary ramen, and oddly, Sakura as a guy. He shuddered. That was not something he wanted to remember.

He nearly yelped when he saw snakes wrapped around him, instantly thinking, "Orochimaru!" But taking a second look, he saw that they were just ropes. Phew. That was a relief. His mind must of been playing tricks.

But wait a second! Why was he tied to a tree with ropes?

He groaned again as his head pounded, but then shut his mouth. He didn't want whoever his captors were to hear him waking up. Looking around, he spotted his captors... Who were none other than his own friends!

Well, he knew one thing for sure. He needed to escape these ropes, and fast!

Because he really needed to pee.

~~~•~~~

Naruto continued gnawing the rope with his teeth. That's right... Just a bit more... And done! He grinned, relieved that he was finally free from the tight ropes. His head felt really cloudy, and he would have thought he were in a dream, if not for the very real feeling of his head throbbing.

He swore that he saw ramen floating around as he walked over to some sort of pond to relieve himself.

When he got there, he was surprised to see a beautiful woman standing in the centre of the pond. Her back was towards him, and she was controlling the water around her to make spirals around herself. Water droplets caught the moonlight, making it look like she was sparkling and glistening.

Naruto just watched for a moment before he rubbed his eyes. When he looked back up, she was still there.

'That is so cool!' He thought.

He raised his arm to a friendly wave. "Hey, who are you?! You can control water by just moving your arms?! That looks so cool! My name's Naruto!"

Hinata, who had been training her water affinity, immediately recognized the voice. Immediately her face turned more and more red at a steady rate.

Panicking, she released her hold on the water, letting the water splash back into the pond, and quickly made her escape.

Confused, Naruto scratched the back of his head as he looked in the direction the woman had disappeared to. "Man, I want to learn how to that!"

~~~•~~~

Naruto's head was spinning as he trudged back to camp in the darkness. He contemplated wether or not that woman was real or not. After all, it turned out all those ramen were fake. He had learned that out the hard way.

Suddenly, Naruto roared at the sky. "If this is some sort of genjutsu, you're going to pay!"

Naruto stiffened as he heard something in the distance. It sounded like... Thumping sounds.

Someone roared in the distance. "NARUTO!"

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

As the thumps started to get closer, Naruto started to sweat. He knew that voice anywhere.

It was Sakura. And she sounded mad.

He gulped. There was only one thing to do.

He ran like a terrified girl.

~~~•~~~

So, that's Chapter 2... Chapter 3 will be up in a while...


End file.
